Deciding to Foster
Foster care. We are finally going to do it. It's been a while since I've felt this excited and hopeful. We've been waiting so long to have children in our home and tried so many different things. It's been really hard. I know foster care is going to be hard too, but in the end I think it will be worth it.
It was a long journey to get to this point. Before we got married and knew about our infertility problems we both wanted to adopt as well as have our own biological children. My husbands family did foster care for generations but it was such a new concept to me, I wasn't sure if I could or even wanted to do it. It took a few years to warm up to the idea. I thought we might have some biological children and then once they are a little older do foster care, but the Lord obviously had a different plan. Though I haven't exactly thrived under the struggles of infertility I know this plan for me is better then anything I could have thought up for myself, and I am hopeful the turning point for me will be really soon.
For a while now I've wanted nothing more than to just be a mom. That's what I've always wanted to do with my life because to me there is nothing greater. I think being a foster mom will help me feel a little more fulfilled. It will allow me to love children as my own, even though they might not be with me forever.
It's a heart breaking thought, but it also is an uplifting thought. I think it's so great that I can provide a child with love and care while their parents work on fixing their mistakes. After all, we all make mistakes. I'd like to help the child and the parent out as much as I can so both of them can be on a better path. I love that I can have the opportunity to devote my time to serving them, what a blessing.
As I prepare to have kids in our home I've been thinking more critically about the kind of parent I want to be. This Sunday at church we sang a hymn that I thought was absolutely perfect in describing the kind of home I wanted. The hymn is called "Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth" and reads as follows:
Home can be a heaven on earth
When we are filled with love,
Bringing happiness and joy,
Rich blessings from above--
Warmth and kindness, charity,
Safety and security--
Making home a part of heaven,
Where we want to be.
Drawing family near each week,
We'll keep love burning bright.
Serving Him with cheerful hearts,
We'll grow in truth and light.
Parents teach and lead the way,
Children honor and obey,
Reaching for our home in heaven,
Where we want to stay.
Praying daily in our home,
We'll feel His love divine;
Searching scriptures faithfully,
We'll nourish heart and mind.
Singing hymns of thanks, we'll say,
"Father, help us find the way
Leading to our home in heaven,
Where we long to stay.
I know that no home is perfect. There will be fights and temper tantrums and all sorts of chaos but it also can be a refuge from the world. A place filled with love and kindness. So in my temporary childless state I'm preparing in every way that I can, physically, spiritually, and mentally. So wish us luck! We're going to need it with this new adventure ahead of us.
