We're Officially Foster Parents!
It finally happened! We got out first foster placement this last Sunday and we couldn't be more in love, he is absolutely perfect! It was such a whirlwind experience!
First let me explain how placements work, because we weren't completely aware of this beforehand and it caused some heartache. Once you get your foster license you begin getting phone calls about children that need a home. The first time I got a call my heart was beating so fast, I was thrilled we were getting a placement so soon after getting our license. It was about a two year old boy and we eagerly replied that we would be thrilled to have him in our home. We were told that DCS would be dropping him off at our home and would call within the next two hours. As soon as I hung up the phone I began running around the house getting everything ready, frantically thinking of all the things this little boy is going to need. I was ecstatic and already planning in my head the fun activities we would fill our days with. The two hours passed and we still hadn't received a phone call. We patiently waited expecting him to show up any moment at our door. It wasn't until the evening that we worriedly called the placement center questioning why he wasn't here yet. They explained he had gone to a different home. My heart broke.
I know we never met him, but I already loved him and had plans of my life with him. This heartache hit close to home, probably because it felt to similar to when we received the news our IVF cycle failed, and that was one of the worst days of my life. In my head I just thought that all these times in our journey I've gotten my hopes up only to be hurt. All the times my period was late, the promising fertility treatments, everything.
By the next morning I was able to work these feelings out and continue to be optimistic that there will be more phone calls and more children, and there were. We received several phone calls. With each phone call I tried not to get my hopes up to much. After a few we wondered why DCS didn't chose us, was there something wrong with our file?
Finally we got a call Sunday about a little newborn boy. It was a call just like every other one and in my head I told myself we won't get this child either. But within 30 minutes of hanging up on that phone call we got another one. This time it was a DCS worker asking if we could come pick him up right now from the hospital. We said yes of course! There was lots of squealing and jumping and we left with my hair soaking wet and makeup halfway done. Priorities haha.
When we arrived at the hospital, we signed a piece of paper, they gave us some tips and we were on our way. Just like that we had a baby within an hour of finding out about him. We were in shock, we very literally were just handed a baby. I know people say that all the time about foster care but it's a whole other thing to experience it. It's been almost a week now and I still can't stop staring at him. He is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen but I'm totally biased.
I am over joyed. I feel like I've finally found that purpose in my life that I've been searching for. I feel like my sadness was replaced with so much love and light. I love the sleepless nights because I get to hold this sweet child of God. I love every difficult and exhausting part. But I'm also a little scared. I'm scared of getting hurt, of him leaving as fast as he came into our lives. As someone who hasn't been able to have kids biologically I feel like this part of foster care is the hardest. Although I have this fear I've been trying to focus on the positive. Every day with him is a blessing. Every minute I spend with him is valued because I have no idea how long I've got and for now I'm ok with that.
